ok maybe a few photos since i'm still around

My favourite monterey bay aquarium. Had thought it'd be the same as the underwater world at sentosa, but stil went ahead coz it was the main attraction there, and highly recommended by THE boss. it was FANTASTIC! my favourite was the jellyfish and the huge shoals of fishes. my very first reminder that US is really huge and plenty of space, so everything's big and beautiful. it's a very family-oriented place, with games and stuff to entertain both kids and adults alike. pity there was limited time for us, but totally worth the $$.weather was cloudy and gloomy when we went. otherwise, monterey is a beautiful place with fantastic weather.didn't expect the US Grand Prix 2008 to be held there! haha.. some streets were blocked to accomodate the pre-race party. bikers parked their modified bikes there to show off and to party. i really wanted to take more pics, but was alittle afraid of getting beaten up by all the leather-coated people. it was truly high-ness though! and one guy waved to us as we tried to capture a shot of him zooming past us on a nice white bike! =Pdenice the menace park was the greatest disappointment. just a normal park, with the name and 1 statue of denice. bah.photo-whoring in many of the historical museums.it was real cold, especially at night with the breezes. still, i loved eating the terribly yummy icecream along the beach. chilling both in and out.and the sports bar at hyatt hotel itself was a nice place to go at night. the texas styled fried were oh-so-yummy. *drools*

after 3 days at monterey, we finally saw the sun. so we just had to skip an hour of talks to sun tan a little. and play table tennis with a cute little chinese boy. =P (yes, with our conference attire and all)my shopping from gilroy! i really didn't expect to see fangers coming back with only 1 bag. >.< onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZx24S5f0mBEPcU-81yYaPVGPXljJgHG5eYtGz63xtYhe6o-itMuzXtt86Xradq2n0WP2nM7j6OiGywqgyDaCrPfeHzApQ5x_wEuALNEpapcOb7wyH5oLZhtyWYIkbz8aaI6mYSgaLHfY/s1600-h/P1040350-all+my+shopping+that+day%21.JPG">the huge garlic festival! it's like the 2nd largest annual festival in US. on our way there, a family from las vegas told us they missed last yr's festival coz they had waited too long to book the hotels and they were all full. this time, they booked the hotel in NOVEMBER LAST YEAR for the festival in july this yr! whoahaha. garlic in everything was so exciting. so furtunate tt both of us love garlic. and garlic icecream was the most unique of all! the aftertaste was soo... undescribable. and the coolest part of the festival, is not about the garlic or the people that come from all over US (and the world), but rather the volunteers from the town that come together as one to make the festival possible. every year, for 30 years, gilroy residents plan for months and commit their time and money and energy to plan for this giganormous festival. this year, only 3, yes, 3, people were employed to do all the technical/professional stuff for the festival. the rest of the work is done by 4000 volunteers from the tiny town! i'm so amazed at how united they are. i salute them.


SF had the most unprediactable weather of all. without the wind and clouds, it would be a scorching 30 celcius. but the moment the sun gets covered up and the wind blows, it's freezing somewhere around 10. no wonder we got both frostbites and sun burns in the same trip. haha. golden gate park was really huge. like a botanical gardens that is 10 times bigger, with a huge lake for rowing and even museums inside! the rowing was challenging, with yifang splashing the guy who was trying to teach us how to row. in the end, he gave up on us.. but we still managed to complete the whole distance! so proud of ourselves. ^_^ and i discovered that her aunt takes really pretty pictures.and yes, we did get to visit cafe gratitude! i saw it listed as 'the 10 weirdest things to do in the world'. haha. it's a vegetarian place, with really exciting range of foods that have names such as 'i am elated' and 'i am beautiful'. so tt's what we have to say when we're ordering our food. and before we get to eat, the waitor asks each of us 'what are you grateful for today'? it's really quite fun. and the backyard feel of it all, really completes the experience. YUM.
visited the hippie haight-ashbury, then caught a break-dancing performance along fisherman's wharf before taking a ferry to rich-man's island--sausolito. didn't do much there, but camwhore with the yachts and to eat more icecream. but i must say, icecream there is all so good! waffles especially. another great place is pollyann's icecream on Noriega and 39th. woohoo. spin the wheels if you don't know what flavour to order!
and oh the sunset views of the islands (esp alcatraz) was so beautiful on our way back
city hall looks the same in every country. but at SF, people get married there too. and yes, we did catch a gay couple. i must say it was.. err.. interesting. an eye opener seeing if for myself. but i am really not a proponent of gay marriages. nor homosexuality for that matter. it just ain't correct. look how our bodies are created by God (or evolved, for those evolutionists who insist on not believing in God), they're obviously made for man+woman, no other combinations.fanger's aunt's friend, howard, drove us around on a mini-road trip to golden gate bridge, up the mountains, and down to mills valley. nice view of golden gate bridge that i didn't get when i was previously at SF! and we also saw the magnificant leftovers of the palace of fine arts. ooh..

how i appreciate the stable weather here. for once.

I am back, so much to blog about, but too lazy to do so. In short, it was a GOOD TRIP. Conference was beneficial (though i could hardly keep my eyes open for half of it due to jet lagging), especially the networking. Never in my life have i made friends with so many big shots at one go. And by friends, i mean we chatted, and not with butterflies in my stomach and me trying to impress them, but rather casual talk and jokes. Thereafter, gilroy was abit troubling, but we managed to accomplish what we were there for -- factory outlet shopping and the ever-so-big 30th annual garlic festival. San Frans was superb, with finally someone to pamper us and to bring us around.

Ok, i had spent the entire 22 hour flight thinking of what 10-page blog i'd write about when i return, but tt's all for now. talking is easier. photos are too aplenty. visit facebook for some of them, or my home for the full collection. =P

and did i forget to mention, when i first arrived here 2 days ago, i managed to catch the gathering for US Grand Prix 2008? absolute cool-ness, with the pre-race motor party and motor shows.. =P

It's freezing in summer

Hello from Monterey, California!! ^_^ Jet lagging a little, but its easier to stay awake in cool weather. haha. It's summer here, but way cooler than anyone in Singapore can ask for. Weather forecasts stated 12-20 celcius here, but the past few days have been cloudy and breezy, so it felt more like max 15 celcius even in the day! It's quite chilly, considering it to be summer now. Weather would have been perfect if there was more sun. can't wait til wednesday when i go to gilroy. It's further from the beach and thus a little warmer! ^_^ cya all in HOT HOT singapore in august~~

Goodbye, L

We were just discussing where we should go today after lunch, when suddenly, we had an idea. Changi airport. Happily, it was approved. In secret, of course. It was meant to be a surprise. And since he’s a low profile person, it had to be a quiet affair.

It wasn’t difficult to find out which flight he was taking, as we knew the airline, the rough timing and the destination. To play safe, we reached the airport 2 hours before the flight, and made sure our ‘spy’ informed us when he was leaving for the airport. So we sat at the check-in counter. We waited. And we waited. Half an hour before the departure, and he was nowhere to be seen! I was so sure I saw him with a whole lot of luggage this morning, so he had to check-in his luggage there. Still, we were worried we had missed him somehow.

Suddenly, someone shouted “L!!” and started running in another direction. The rest of us got up immediately from our seats and ran in the same direction. I ran and shouted for him to stop at the same time. But honestly, at that time, I had not yet spotted him. I was just shouting with them. Haha. Then I saw him. He was already handing his passport to the security guy! 6 girls scrambling towards a man, shouting at the top of their voices.. we definitely didn’t keep it low profile! >.<>

Of course, he was TOTALLY surprised when we finally caught his attention. We had almost missed him, as he had a last minute upgrade and thus checked in somewhere else. He told us how sad he was when he was leaving the lab. He had looked around to say his last goodbyes, but to his disappointment, there was noone around (besides the ‘spy’, of course). In the end, he had to bid a pathetic goodbye to someone from the neighbouring lab. Awww.. so poor thing. BUT, what he didn’t know was, everyone was missing coz we were all at the airport waiting for him! With his favourite kueh salat to keep him happy throughout the long flight.

I’m so happy the surprise was so successful. Never have I done such a thing before. I hope he settles down fast over there… but don’t forget us… and come back soon. ^_^

missed chance. AGAIN.

i had gotten over it. or so i thought. until my sis helped me collect the runner's bib and the shape run t-shirt today. I WANNA GO!! booohoohoo. every yr try so hard to sign up for some run, always not free or too late or no more vacancies. this yr, first day it opened, i managed to jio some friends to go sign up. so happy to get a place. and now... i'm flying off on the 19th. the run is on the 20th. how to run!?!?? grr... so not fated to run. and i hope ser and jy have fun running. so sorry i can't join u gals. run faster wor!! ^_^

it's only a week away, when it finally dawned upon me, that i am really going back to the USA! And to a land with Krispy Kreme! but unfortunately, we're not gonna drive around... so most probably we wouldnt' get to eat any donuts. boohoohoo... so near yet so far!!!

oh well. may each trip there be a different experience. This time round, the main food would be GARLIC.. coz it's the annual garlic festival!!! anyone wants garlic from california? ^_^

Friday Night Out

It was my first outing with CB2. I must say, they’re a really crazy bunch of people! Very good example of ‘play hard work hard’. Normally, many of them just smile when they walk past you at work. Then, yesterday at Brewerks, they were challenging one another to down more beer/wine/whisky, shouting funny things around, wrestling with each other.. Haha. As J said, I got to see their drunken side before I get to see their hardworking side! Hee~ Got a few videos down too. And proof of the boss’ funnest side! ^_^ The best thing was, when the younger people left at 10+, the oldest and biggest bosses all stayed to continue drinking the night out! Whoahaha.. I’m so looking forward to a great time with this group =P

R.I.P.

I had such a great start to day, after concussing at 8pm last night all the way til 8am this morning.

It was right after a meeting this morning, that I received an sms from fangers. My precious cells died. And all due to someone’s irresponsibility a few weeks ago. I don’t know who that was. And honestly speaking, I really don’t care. For no matter who it was, my cells would not come to life anymore. It’s like if someone you love has been murdered, and you find the murderer, it’s only to bring him to justice, but that someone you love would not resurrect. 2 months of hard work, gone just like that. Half a year of plans, disrupted in a flash. I grieve for the loss of my precious. Thanks to all who showed your concerns for the departure of my beloved.

A charming smile

On the way to CG outing at the Settler’s café after church today, yw chris and I decided to take a ride on gb’s pickup. Yeah, at the back. The girls took the pickup, while the guys enjoyed the comfort of the zoom zoom. Contrary to everyone’s warning, it was a cooling day with little sun, minimal red lights and a very straight road. Of course, there was gb’s steady driving too. (way to go, epb!) Along the way, yw and I started discussing that maybe it ain’t so impossible to get a convertible in Singapore after all. Opening the top isn’t as hot as it seems, because there’s the wonderful breeze sweeping past as the car moves. Right after that conversation, a silver convertible passed by. I was so surprised and exclaimed “WOW!” To even greater surprise, the Caucasian guy at the wheel turned and flashed us a charming smile. OH SHUCKS! I had forgotten that we were both in the open, with no windows to block our conversation. He’d heard me! How embarrassing.. >.<

Uncle is back~

And so we had a huge gathering with the extended family. Super duper yummy seafood meal we had at Long Beach. We’ve been there a couple of times, but this time’s menu was THE BEST. And believe it or not, I think today’s the first time I heard my uncle (who’s a reverend) give a sermon! When he was still in Singapore, I was too young and hadn’t started attending services. I must say, he rocks! I loved his sermon, and I believe everyone else did too. Way to go, uncle “AM SO ON!”=P

have a great weekend~

So glad we did screen the video after all. Thanks to tech-savvy MinTea, michelle, wyee, ys and all others who helped in the setting up for the screening. Each time I sit there and edit the video, I laugh at the jokes. I re-edit and re-cut the scenes until I can memorize almost every line in the video, and I can still laugh at them every time I view it. But never did I expect the reactions I saw today. It was the first time I ever saw him so embarrassed, covering his face and turning all red. Hahaha. Every one was laughing so hard. And even myself, I laughed until tears were flowing. It’s so nice to see a group gathering to put something so meaningful (and fun) together for an important person, each putting in her own little bit of effort to make it work. And more so when he told us that this is the first time in his entire life that someone ever made a video for him. I know how that feels, really, coz I was so touched the first time anyone made a video for me, I cried when I viewed it.

And that was just a start to a great evening together. Two years and 8 days in this lab, and I’ve never had a complete lab outing outside the lab. This was the first, and sure I had a great time chatting with them, discovering even more secrets and all. The farewell may jolly well be a blessing in disguise in the end~

it’s a journey

I should have seen it coming. At the back of my head, I know that I have to reach this day sooner or later. In fact, the sooner it is, the faster we can actually progress. But I was really not looking forward to it. Until, today, they spelt it out to us. Suddenly, I can feel myself peeling away from my comfort zone, into a foggy world where everything is uncertain. Noone knows what will come out of what we do. I don’t like it, but this is the nature of the path chosen. As L says, it’s the journey that we have to experience. It’s gonna be so so soo difficult from now on. Difficult yet exciting. And at the same time, I must really learn to be grateful that now I don’t have just one mentor, but three! Count my blessings. And continue to walk hand in hand with The Twin, even if we tread on separate paths. ^_^

I heart pretty clothes

Finally got down to arranging my cupboard. I know i actually have alot of clothes that are pretty but i don't wear them. I keep shopping, buying, then wear one and dump them aside. Not because i dun like them anymore. On the contrary, i often dig out clothes that i bought in sec1/2 and wear them occasionally. Rather, i am usually too lazy to dress up whenever i go out. Quite a waste considering the amount of clothes i have!

See... all my clothes taken out.. take up 2 beds! can open bazaar stall alreadyMy cupboard(s) after rearranging them.. and heartaching-ly throwing away some clothes that are really too small already, but never could part with them.


T-shirts and bottoms (most-worn clothes)
bedsheets, home clothes, shorts (double layer of clothes.. those inside i prolly wun wear.. just cannot bear to throw away) my most comfy clothes

jackets at the bottom. (25 in total after throwing away a few). then all other clothes, caps, socks, belts, bags... (the most expensive section, but least worn)



And 2 years after i discovered my fav bright orange adidas jacket was soiled, i brought it to my mum once again to complain one last time before throwing it away. And.. 2 years later this very day, my mum has more resources as a POWER housewife. She cleaned it!!!!!! woohoo~ this must be the happiest thing that happened to me this weekend. I am so gonna wear that jacket again. Who cares if singapore is hot.

there can be miracles, when you believe..

Truly, it was a miracle. So happy, so relieved. Praise the Lord ^_^

i must have been really tired. And it didn't help that i had a whole lot of work to do yesterday, plus a lab meeting to attend, so couldn't finish work early to return home for a nap before dinner. Was quite disappointed about things that happened recently.. everyone was telling me they can't do things coz they don't know. so i should do it. well, i just want to say that I DON'T KNOW TOO. But i put in the effort to LEARN. Then it leads to a whole lot of expectations, thinking that i am an expert who can do a whole lot of things all so easily. So i had decided that i would stop doing anything anymore, and noone will get to see the results. i am not going to take the initiative to arrange anything. If anyone happens to organize anything, i'll gladly do it. otherwise, forget it.

But this morning, i woke up feeling abit more refreshed, and i realized my thoughts the previous night were really quite silly. who cares if noone helps. it was my own idea. blame it on myself for thinking of so many things. well, though not everything's gonna happen, at least i did my own part, and i am proud of it. It's really far from being perfect, and i am not very pleased with it. But it really took alot from me. I put in alot of time, energy, effort... and received alot of headaches, eyeaches, backaches. I am happy that i did it, for not only did i create something personalized (with the help of alot of people too. so they really DID something), i also picked up a skill in the process. I believe the receiver will understand that i am just an IT-idiot who tried her best in a limited time frame. ^_^

I need more rest.

a sudden realization

That I can very soon use the penny that I have kept over the years. The penny that was missed out when I changed the contents of my wallet from US currency to SGD. The penny that still sits in my wallet, and still bring around everywhere I go. The penny that brings back so many memories whenever I fish it out of my wallet while looking for change, in Singapore. I am going back. FINALLY.

Happy 2nd Anniversary!!

To myself. For today marks the 2^nd year of my membership in Microarray. ^_^ But I don’t know why, the day didn’t start out too good. Was suddenly reminded of the (true) story that some friends told me some years back. A story that was so scary even though I wasn’t part of it. (And don’t wish to be). The thought made me so scared I didn’t dare to enter a room alone.

Then, I received an email. An email that set me thinking. It just gets more real, not something I only see in TV shows. Life is just so fragile. So unexpected. And I can’t help feeling scared, that this may happen to me one day. Be it the one who leaves or the one who is left behind. I want to be neither. At the same time, just like wyee dajie said, we have to always remember to appreciate how fortunate we are at this current moment. Til this very moment. May the Lord watch over them during this period of grief.

KTV madness

A free-4-hour voucher led us to an outing. Finally, after all of us being so busy the past 6 months. Felt tricked that it cost so much in the end, but we all had fun. It was great seeing bong getting high and dancing.. and first time we had our own instruments at a ktv!! ^_^

donuts to keep us energized for 4 hours

Our own instruments!

xiao jing teng VS aska yang zhong wei

Bong singing her fav jolin songs

Fangers the star

Group shot~

Singing jay chou’s “listen to mummy”

More videos taken.. can use to blackmail them.. muahahaha

sacrifices to make

It ain’t easy to get a free trip to California, I realize. The entire week, fangers and I have been wrecking our brains to try and find lodging, airtickets, land transport to bring us to places we need (and want) to go, and yet keep within the budget. One week on and we’re still stuck. Hoping to get good news from the scholarship board soon. Rising fuel prices is sure imposing some inconveniences.. >.<

Shopping in orchard

I don’t usually like Saturday Orchard crowds. But that one was really s-l-o-w. Then I found out why. Fiona xie was filming some channel 5 show. Haha.

Congrats to Bong!

To think that the first time I met her, 2 years ago, she told me she was still a young Christian. A blink of an eye, and she’s a faithful one, and possibly getting baptized soon. So happy for her!! ^_^ This calls for a double celebration! (in addition to her good exam results)

This morning while walking to the train station, i had this feeling I'd get the acceptance letter. And true enough, i did! Monterey Bay, here I come!! ^_^

A pity it took me awhile to decide whether or not to share a room with fangers or to get our own rooms. By the time we'd decided on separate rooms, there were no more rooms available at the special conference rates! I didn't expect rooms to be swept up so quickly, in just an hour. So we ended up sharing a room at the normal price, to save money. What a pity. Quite upset about it, even if it isn't our money. Oh well.. that aside, i'm so glad i'm planning a holiday! ^_^ lalala~

Miracles still do happen!

The hard work did pay off. Despite doing more modules than other grad students, i did unexpectedly well this semester. The most amazing being the results of the ethics/philosophy module (where i attempted suicide by writing about the brain and religion, arguing that God exists, in front of an atheist philosophy prof and an atheist neurobiologist).. i got an A+ for that module!! I am so so so very happy!! Haha... the euphoria of my good results still hasn't settled in.. i haven't done so well in so long.. well enough to be on the Dean's list if there was one for grad school! haha. people say that in grad school, noone cares if you have a great CAP/GPA. true. but we do have a CAP/GPA to maintain too, or we'd be thrown out of the scholarship. I'm so glad, i am here to stay. (and my sureties can sleep well tonight too) ^_^

Though i may be asking for alot here, but i do pray that the miracles do extend to my experiments too.. =P

i've found a whisper today..

Ah. i can't wait to get well. Been so bored lying at home, that i went to work. But without a voice. cannot talk. and cannot whisper too hard too, coz i would start coughing. And it's really hard to make pple understand that my loss of voice is really a complete loss of volume, and not just some hoarseness that i don't want people to hear.

It's so funny how kor asked me out to ktv, and when i told him i lost my voice, he commented that he's sure it still sounds good no matter what. err. lose voice means NO VOICE, understand? it's not those low, sexy voices lor.. ZERO decibels, you'll hear nothing at ktv.. listen to cd can ler..

Yesterday when i went back, boss suddenly called me into his office for a discussion. Ha. no voice how to discuss? in the end, he said "ok, i'll do the talking". And i heard my manager laughing from her desk. LOL.

And it sucks not being able to talk and join in conversations. Worse still, i cannot even sit aside and listen. Y? coz if i listen, i will get so agitated/excited that i would attempt to giggle or laugh or whisper something, all of which would lead to me coughing and spreading my germs all over. So... my solution is to sit aside at my desk, eat my own lunch, avoid all social interactions possible. I know i can hear the laughters coming from the pantry.. i know what they're talking about.. i want to be a part of it.. but.. oh well. the big plan cannot start til i am well anyway!! MUAHAHA. That's a bit of a comfort. =P

GCC

As i went back to Grace Covenant Church's website, after many months of not being there, i realized that they have moved. and only at the new website, did i discover that Pastor Young has a blog. As i read through it, I was thrown into a whirlpool of feelings. I miss those days in GCC. I really do. it doesn't matter that i was there only 5 months, and 2 years has passed since. There are some things that i will never forget. walking to the university in the cold, sitting beside steph every sunday, learning new songs, getting touched by pastor young's sermons week after week, the very different easter services, the fasting during lent.. But my biggest regret was not joining their family group. If i ever have the chance to return, may I be more active in that church and join a local family group too.

and it isn’t so bad after all

It’s amazing how I haven’t felt bored at all these 2 days, doing almost absolutely nothing but eat and sleep. I’ve finally re-discovered the joy of just lazing around in bed, resting my body, closing my eyes, listening to music. Even without my radio, I can lie on my bed for hours, drifting in and out of dreamland. And happily enough, I even managed to catch Gary Caoge’s ‘live’ concert at imm on Sunday. Well, sort of. I heard him singing, I heard them cheering, but I was lying in the comfort of my bed. Haha. If not for my room being so much higher (and thus seeing only the rooftop), I’d have used binoculars to catch him in action!

And during the few waking hours when I’m out of bed, I did some reading up of MVP.. ha.. it’s no fun at all! Some patients have to stay away from caffeine (which includes chocolates!).. and to avoid sugar.. (which includes chocs yet again!) there’re lots of changes to lifestyles.. the only one that I like is.. TAKE AFTERNOON SNACKS. Haha. Yahoo~ oh well.. but I guess those are only for patients with serious conditions of MVP. Even if I test positive, I shouldn’t have any big lifestyle changes coz it hasn’t affected me too much in any manner. ^_^ oh but I can use it as an excuse to take tones of afternoon snacks! Heh~

Aging symptoms

Either that, or it’s what university life has done to me. I had maintained a sick-less record from primary 5, all the way until I entered uni. Then, I started falling sick once a semester. And in the recent 3 years, it always has something to do with throat infections and losing my voice. Sian. Luckily my body always knows when I have the time to fall sick. It was only after the YA walk, CG and dinner, when I reached home, then I started feeling dry throat and slow rising body temp. Sunday it got really terrible.. was in bed from 10pm on Saturday all the way til this morning. And with no important experiments/meetings lined up this week, I could rest in peace. I didn’t even sleep a wink last night coz my headache was so bad. Amazingly, after breakfast this morning, my fever subsided and I got up to watch StepUp2. But halfway through the movie, I felt my body getting hotter again.. so I grabbed lunch (yeah no skipping of meals even tho I am sick!) which was totally yummy PURPLE potatoes, and went back to bed. My fever just kept coming and going. And in my grogginess, I thought.. MALARIA! But my fever came and went every 3-4 hours.. which is way shorter than the cycles in malaria. And I don’t remember any mosquito bites. Still, I finally went to see the doc.

And during the visit, my mum brought up the matter of my heart murmurs. (where I made a booboo about saying heart mutters instead of murmurs. Bleah.) I had ignored it coz I never had a second opinion about it. But upon mention, my doc checked, and said that yeah I do have some heart murmurs. Darn. Then he told me to get a referral from him after I recover. And in the meantime, to ask for antibiotics if I got any tooth extraction/surgery, to prevent infection of the heart valves. And I had gone for wisdom teeth extraction without knowing this!! What a risk I had taken. Doc also said something really interesting—that MVP is more common in tall girls. Haha. Oh well. Will think about the echocardiogram after I get better.

Silly Billy

The silliness of expecting them all to understand. The hope that I've held on to for so long. It's time to let go. They will never understand. Just like any other. And I must remind myself that there is no need for them all to understand. I only need Him to, and He does.

So proud

I have always believed in my brother’s capabilities. He proved it once again. Congrats~~~ ^_^

(and I am so happy to be the first one in the family to be around when he received the news =P)

Surreality

And we finally met. Almost 5 years after we got to know each other, we finally saw each other physically. And it sure doesn’t feel like we have never met before. Not just another virtual friend. It started off as a good friend’s friend. Then, we discovered we had more common friends. And for some reason, he was there to provide a ‘listening ear’, to comfort me and to give good advice during some really tough periods of my life. Like God’s providence. After so many years of online friendship, mr Andy finally made it back home. And I had the honor of meeting him before his family did! Haha. Hope you don’t melt too much in Singapore, dude~

cardless times are over

a month of living without any card to get my money, was a torture. i realize i'm so dependent on cards that i cannot live properly with only cash. each day i go for lunch, i have to think how much i have in my wallet before i know where i can afford to have lunch. each morning, i fear going to the train station with no money in my ezlink card, and not enough cash to top up my card (there's a minimum of $10 for each topup if it's at the machine!) then there's the unhappy shopping experiences, where i cannot just buy what i want, coz i need to check how much cash i have in my wallet. it's so sian going out without a card! i'm so happy.. that 1 month after the theft case, i am finally free of it. life goes on again.. ^_^

SUCCESS!! ^_^

I know self praise is no praise.. but it really is nice! My first time making pumpkin cake, with my mother's supervision, and some minor changes to her recipe.. I'm quite please with the results. TASTY! Though the FatSunshineClub has not been doing much lately due to grad school draining all the energy out of us, they'll still get to try this cake! ^_^

And since school's out for the moment, we've got HUGE plans ahead! Not food related though. I can't believe i'm going to all these actually. It's gonna be so exciting. I hope the country song sounds good! And the video would be memorable (with not too many glitches since i, the IT-idiot, is going to pick up video editing!). and the t-shirt would be worn more often than the striped shirts he now wears. Just our small ways to show our appreciation for all that he's done for us. ^_^

may i see this with my own eyes soon..

up and coming!

It was nice having kor coming by to have a chat with me… trying to fulfil his duties as a bro, I see. Haha. And stephie dropped by Holland v for lunch today! (anyone nearby can ask me out for lunch too!) I really love talking to steph.. always brings back fond memories of traveling the states.. and she was so thoughtful as to choose a viet restaurant today, which was so apt! I think I had more viet food in US than in Singapore.. not just because there are more viet restaurants there, but also coz Pacey is too busy to care about us nowadays!! Boohoohoo.. Pacey… u still owe me my BIG 10-course viet meal…

Today, fangers and I submitted an application. I’m praying so hard we’d get accepted. I am itching so badly to go shopping at those mega factory outlets once again. Results will be out in 2-3 weeks’ time. Hope it’d be good news! >.<

The Lord says, Be strong and courageous!

Thanks for all those who've showered care and concern over me the past week. Those nearby, those i seldom see, those who're half a globe away. I'm totally touched. Thanks for all who offered to keep me in their prayers.. thanks for everything. Things won't change, but my perspective can and will. There's simply no time to whine and be upset about what happened. Maybe things aren't so bad as they seem. In fact, it may be a blessing in disguise. That's how God's plans always work, don't they? Full of surprises. ^_^

from wjh's blog..

更不可能忘记的。。就算再忙。。因为人。。再开心。。也是会不开心的。。

虽然。。觉得自己是个开朗的人。。可是每每见到朋友不开心。。就算自己再沉重。。也会撑住。。逗一逗你们开心的。。伤心的人不会让别人伤心。。。因为他们知道。。伤心已经很痛苦了。。还传给别人干嘛？。。

如果你们身边有个特别开心。。又会关心朋友的人。。那他／她或许有不为人知的一面。。当曲终人散时。。静静一个。。躲在角落。。。慢慢的。。慢慢的把自隐藏在众人的欢笑声中。。。

I know I probably shocked the life out of fangers, to burst out in tears. She even had to do my work for me, coz I couldn’t see anything with those tears in my eyes. And each person that came to talk to me, would trigger the tears again. A thousand apologies to the salespersons, the friends around, and even the people on the MRT train.. everyone who were caught unaware with my sudden tearing and my swollen red eyes. I can’t help it. Every time I think about it.. I just feel very sad. I can’t even do any work. Can’t do anything. I thought that running would induce some happy endorphins in me, but I ended up crying on the treadmill. Fangers told chaota I suffered something worse than a breakup. Yes, it seems like it. It will take me some time to recover from the shock… but I will.

Learning to appreciate things before they disappear

Who’d have expected, that a short conversation would reap such emotions in all of us? Who’d have known.. who’d have guessed.. who’d have wanted such news?

To a bystander, the main concern to me should be whether that’s the end of my future. But that’s like the last thing on my head. Come to think of it, each person that walked out of the room, had different emotions. Overjoyed, Excited, Calm, Anger, Disappointment, Uncertainty, Spacing out.. and i.. just broke down the moment I stepped out of the room. I’m glad I stated that I have only 20minutes to spare, so my agony was shortened. And I was able to hold my emotions until I stepped out. But in order to do that, I only managed to say ‘hello’ when I stepped in, and nothing else until the end of the meeting. When asked for opinions, I just nodded. There was so much I wanted to say, but I just couldn’t, coz I knew that the moment I said anything, I’d lose my control. I’ve never expected any conversations with him to rouse such strong emotions. It really never crossed my mind that he’d ever say such things to me. Things were working so wonderfully. Weren’t they? Why do good things never last? Why am I not given more time to learn and to build this relationship? I was so looking forward to it.. I had told myself that I would learn as much as I can from this model here.. but now.. the chance is taken away. No more.

It may seem so surreal, how I had initially approached E, but got sidetracked and found someone else to replace. Someone that I later found was better. And now, due to circumstances, I’m going back to E. It’s been an amazing 2 years I’ve had.. he promises the calls and the emails.. but it’s never gonna be the same again. Ever.

JOY

and the post school life is so wonderful. been meeting up with everyone, from secondary to uni friends. but still alot haven't met up. haha. slowly slowly.. lots of big plans coming up, including meeting up with my pri3 clique! we haven't met for so many years.. i really love facebook ^_^

so yest after cg, we all went to sign up for the shape run. FINALLY, i'm early enuff and there're still spaces. but, still too late for the goodie bag. bah. i realized i haven't been in town for so long, tt i didn't even noe the way to wisma! >.< it was great meeting up with the TH peeps after tt. i'm really glad that each time, someone takes the initiative to organize meetings.. so we do meet up more n more often.. ^_^ and i did finally step into tt ming ge can ting.. haha.. can't believe it's my first time there.. and to think tt earlier yest i was still complaining to serene tt i hadn't listened to live music for so long, then my dream was fulfiled a couple of hrs later! (tho it was chinese music lah.. haha) it's a pity people are busier nowadays.. and tired.. so we have less time to spend together. but i think it was good time spent. looking forward to the next gathering! (maybe it'd be best when some of them get married.. then have a house of their own to crash.. muahaha)

TAC

Finally, it’s over. What a scare of a lifetime. I was so prepared, having read through my slides a million times, and even got Lin to help me with the preparations. (thanks gal). This morning, boss L (ok, this sounds like Death Note.. haha) helped me with a final rehearsal. The moment I stood up to talk, all the rehearsals and scripts became nothing. I got all tongue-tied and gibberish just kept flowing out of my mouth. Bleah. Just a rehearsal with my very-nice-boss also like that. Lucky he was really very encouraging, and we spent an hour perfecting my slides.

Fangers was so accommodating, to go for an early lunch with me. Being the kiasu me, I wanted to be back half an hr before my presentation started at 1pm. Haha.. I think I am the hardest person to get along with.. must accommodate my timing, must accommodate my food cravings, must accommodate my complains and whining about how stressed I am.

So.. 1pm finally came. And left. I know my tongue got tied a million times during the presentation, I know I answered some questions like a dumb dumb. But I truly enjoyed the session. Stressful as it was, being a meeting with the director himself (and 2 others), I got a whole lot of very useful feedback from them too. Indeed, they asked a lot of questions that set me thinking. Then there was the debate amongst the profs themselves. And.. the proposal from my boss to give me that other project. Which was led by a direct rejection by E. boohoohoo. But I guess they know better. I should not aim too high and juggle so many things. They mean the best for me. Besides all the critical questioning, I must say that they were very encouraging. Ultimately, they weren’t there to put me down, but to help me build a strong building. And the fact that they said the project looks exciting and interesting, meant a lot to me.

Then there were the fun things during the meeting, such as the realization of the “déjà vu” thingie… of what E did to L, and now what L is doing to fangers and I. haha. That was something new that I learnt about my boss. And after the meeting, E was still around, and we had a short chat. (started off being a gossip session, til L joined us in the conversation. Ahha) Being out of the “presentation” setting, it was so much easier to relax and talk to him like a friend. There’re so many things that I would have said to them all if not for my nervousness. (and their lack of time). But oh well, I think things can only get better. Looking forward to the next (still stressful) TAC meeting! ^_^

1pm tomorrow

i hope i do fine. do pray for me. =)

The Peak

It's hard to find a picture of me having fun alone. ^_^

Machu Picchu

I will make it to this mysterious part of Latin America one day.

Just to sit there and admire it's beauty.

need to resist the temptation from buying geeky t-shirts even though there's a sale going on at phdcomics.com.

Is it really possible?

To publish in Science, Cell or Nature?

It just seems too unreachable.

BUT. nothing is impossible. weijia jiayou!! ^_^

should i go for a holiday? or should i just sell away that ticket? i can't remember why i didn't use it last year. i really should have. and the ticket is best for tokyo, but i have missed the best of springtime in tokyo. no more next year to wait for. bah. i hate making decisions.

police and thief

Yesterday, was the day I had another 2 presentations lined up for me. I left home at 9am, hoping to reach school early to prepare for the 10am presentation. It must have been the rain, for buses were much more packed than usual, and I missed 3 buses. I managed to squeeze onto the 4^th 188 that came along at 930am. I was balancing on the steps of the bus, lugging my file and laptop. I took out my wallet to tap my EZlink card. But the wallet just had to slip out of my hand and drop onto the floor. Onto my feet. Because the bus was making a turn, I decided to wait til it stopped at the next busstop before I bent down to collect my wallet. When the bus stopped, an auntie in front of me bent down, shuffled her plastic bag and ran out of the bus. When I looked down, my wallet was gone! Just before the bus driver closed the door, I suddenly stepped out of the bus to chase after the auntie. She had run into an office building, and I followed her in. I found her shuffling around with her handbag and plastic bag. When I asked her for my wallet, she opened up her plastic bag to say that there was nothing. Then she shouted some stuff in hokkien (which I cannot understand) and ran into the lift. Before I could react and ask to check her handbag, the lift door had already closed. I couldn’t see which level she went to, for there were other people in the lift. I walked out of the building feeling all so unlucky. For a moment, I wondered if the wallet could have been still on the bus. Dismissed that thought as I remembered double checking the floor, I went back into the building. The directory of the offices was so long! 8 levels, but multiple companies. I didn’t know where to start from, so I anyhow pressed ‘level 5’ in the lift. There was another guy in the lift, and I asked if he happened to know which level had a auntie working there. When he found out about my incident, he recommended I go to level7 to report to the management there. So there was one main office that manages the building. Holding some hopes, I told the 3 ladies in the office about what happened. After some discussion, they decided that there were too many aunties that fit my description, and they couldn’t do anything about it. So I left my number with them and left. Leaving the building for a second time, I went back to the busstop, and realized I couldn’t go to school. Coz I had no EZlink card. And no money. Lucky I had a phone, and called my mum to come pick me up. While waiting for her, I saw an uncle waiting for the lift at the lobby, and decided to try my luck to see if he knows any auntie of his age. He didn’t, but was helpful in bringing me up a few levels to find some other cleaners that may know the auntie. I talked to so many people, who were all so helpful in helping to narrow down the list of possible candidates. I ended up with 2 malay cleaners who suggested I wait at the entrance of the building, for there is only 1 entrance to that place. By that time, my mum had already arrived. Thanks to bong, I managed to get the numbers of all the banks and stuff to cancel all my cards. And my group mates who took over my place for the presentation. I called the police, and they told me they could check out the CCTV. Then the cleaner had to tell me that the cctv in that building is not working. And the security guard had quit recently. What luck! After a lot of discussion with the police, they decided to come down to search the building. While waiting for the police, suddenly one of the cleaners called me over. She was pushing a cleaning trolley, with buckets and all. “the auntie”, she said, and pointed to the trolley. SO I thought she wanted me to check that trolley to see if the auntie kept my wallet there. Then I realized, she was using the trolley to block the lift door, coz the auntie was standing in the lift! Then suddenly I wasn’t too sure if it was her. Height, hair, dressing seemed similar. But hair color was abit different from what I remembered. So I asked the auntie what bus she took to work this morning. “188”, she replied. Then I asked her if she came to work at about 930, then she started shouting a whole lot of stuff in hokkien. That’s when I recognized her. But I couldn’t understand what she was saying. I wanted to tell her that the police were on their way, but if she returned my wallet, I could drop the matter. But she just kept shouting at me in that foreign language, and the 2 malay cleaners also couldn’t help. Luckily, my mum was around and she came in to talk to the auntie. And they both ended up shouting. Haha. Soon after, the police arrived, but the auntie was gone. I learnt from my mum that the auntie had denied everything, even after she said I’d called the police. It was only after she pointed to the cctv (which is not working, but not known to the auntie), then she said she picked up a brown wallet in the morning and can bring down to see if it’s mine. So I waited. Indeed, it was my BLACK wallet. With everything intact. Handing over the wallet, she shouting a whole lot of stuff again, but I didn’t know what she was saying. Unfortunately, the 2 policemen were malay too. Haha. So we had to get my mum to translate again. According to my mum, the auntie claimed she ran off the bus all the way into this building only because she works here. And she picked up the wallet because she doesn’t know who’s it was. But excuse me, if you see a wallet lying amongst a whole pool of people, why don’t you ask the people around to see who dropped it? And if it’s in a bus, why not hand it over to the bus driver? Even if you wanted to hand it over to your office people (which she claimed to want to do) why is it that when I approached you, you denied everything? The intention was obvious, and I could have pressed charges against her. But when the police asked me if I wanted to pursue the matter, I just said nevermind lah. Just keep her records. I just wanted my wallet back. And that auntie, will probably not get employed. (she was still on trial working there lah! And she’s been complained against multiple times ler) Just so glad that there were so many people who were so helpful that morning. All the people working in ODC building. the police. And for my mum for speaking hokkien. It’d have been useless if I had found the person but cannot communicate at all!

Rushed to school right after, ironically in the same 188 bus. 2 hours late, but was in time for the closing. Abit sad that I missed the “most intense debate of the century”, given by my group, but at least everything’s over and fine. Right after lesson, I rushed back to the office, entertained the concerns of my fellow labmates for some time, then had to prepare my next presentation. Had barely finished the slides before it was time to give the presentation to my boss. And obviously he was totally not pleased with my presentation. I think there were less than 20 slides, and I could have finished speaking in less than 15 minutes. But he dwelled into each slide for so long, telling me every single thing that I did wrong (which was everything, by the way), that the whole presentation rehearsal took 2 whole hours. Oh man, so tiring. But I am really glad he pointed out all those stuff. 1 week to improve on it, and I have 1 more rehearsal before the actual presentation to my examiners that same day. Bleah. So stressed with the presentation that I kept rehearsing my lines, leading to me lying on my bed fully awake (rehearsing) til 3+am.

payback time.. boohoo

finally received the letter asking me to repay my loans. boohoohoo. haven't even finished studying and i have to repay loans. luckily it's only 2 yrs of educational loan, and the receiver of the $$ is my dad. but still.. i have no $$!! it's stated that full time students can defer payment. but the interest will continue rolling til i pay back! grr.. so not much benefits in that sense lor. HOWHOWHOW. i have not enough money to pay back.. no cpf to deduct from.. argh. money matters give me bad headaches.

what a bad week..

ok. fine. it was just 2 bad incidents. but it still sucks. yesterday, the first presentation went all so well. but the second one.. bah. i was asked the simplest question in the world, with the answer written right in front of me, but i gave the dumbest answer to smoke my way through instead. ugh. then today at work, i put something in the wrong place. and no, you cannot just remove things and replace in the correct places. no things don't work this way in the lab. screwed up all plans for the next week or so. and i'm not the only one affected by my carelessness. arghhhh

looking forward to yet another gathering on friday to end the week on a nice note. but before tt, 2 more presentations on friday!! >.<

waiting sucks

Morning presentation just ended.. and it's 1.5 hours til i start my next presentation. I hate waiting. I know I am prepared for my presentation. Yet, every minute i look at my slides, i edit them. Add things, remove words, alter the animations.. i know there are countless ways to make it better, and it can never be perfect. But i think this waiting is killing me. Is it really worth the amount of effort i put into it? I know very clearly that other students that have presented before me didn't spend much time on their preparations. I can do the same. It's only 50% of the module, you say. It's only 30 minutes of standing there and presenting. Yet, i can't bring myself to stop improving on my slides, and to stop reading even more about the field so that i can tackle the Q&A with ease. It's a mental war.. in my own brain.. bah..

Finally got back my laptop. 9 days of not having it. Just a change of keyboard, which takes less than a day, took them 9 days to finish. Was so upset at them I was dysfunctional yesterday and I went home early. Had 2 dinners to cool down. Comfort eating. Terrible. spent the entire day scolding them in my head, rehearsing how I’d scold them when I collect my laptop. But now that I have my laptop back, I’m happy.

Sawatdii Kha~~

It's not just April Fool's day today.. it's presentation day.. and it's class 401's birthday.. and it's the first time Thai1 class met after graduating!! ^_^ What a happening day. Tired but wonderful. Too bad 2 outings fell on the same day, and i had to leave an hour after i met my rgs classmates. out of 14 of us who were there (the rest were either overseas or missing), half were like doctors who just finished their final exams 2 days ago. And all are like top top medical students lah. So proud of them. ^_^ 8 years since i last met some of them, but noone has changed. Love them.. hope we make this 1st april meeting a regular thing, since more people are back in singapore now. Thanks JH for organizing this manz! i know it was very very very tough to contact pple after so many years.. appreciate it~

Thai1 outing was even more of a surprise. Wancan just smsed me saying she was going to organize an outing. The 401 outing was being planned for the past few years, but i've never thought of getting together the Thai1 pple! Not that i am not close to them, coz indeed we are! or were. haha. It was one of the modules i enjoyed most in NUS. Even the teacher says she loved our class the most. Some went thailand together after 1 semester together. Yet, after we finished 1/2 semesters, i kinda stopped contacting most of them, save for wancan who's in the same course. So glad wancan is still so active in this language and culture.. 3.5 years of studying thai! goodness. no wonder the embassy wants her. ?acaan brought us to a place that sells authentic thai food. yummy~ I never knew where else to get authentic thai food in singapore besides in church (where my thai friends cook). haha. now i finally now. near MOM! cheap cheap too! And it was so weird meeting them, coz everyone turned up in work clothes! i'm so not used to sitting around pple who were all in office clothes. Lucky today i'm not in my usual t-shirt and jeans, coz i had a presentation.. so i could blend in with them! haha.. after just a couple of hours of speaking thai with them, it's coming back to me. i really hope we do meet more often. when mr blue comes back. practise more and go thailand together! ^_^