the clock is ticking

I know that time is passing very fast. I can sense it. I am stressed by it. But noone around me seems to feel it. Noone seems to think that I am progressing very slowly. Or maybe noone cares. I really want to do much more, to make things go faster. But some things cannot be rushed. And sometimes I wonder if it’s my own opinion that things are very slow? It’s actually been only about 2 months since. Yet, it seems like ages. I work so hard everyday, but it feels like I can do much more. I think I need to calm down and take things more easily. Feeling stressed is no use when I am incapable of speeding things up. Only after I polish my skills can I juggle more things at one go. Meanwhile, this is the best I can do. Thus, I must relax and continue at the current pace… yes, relax..

Who’s fault is it?

You don’t like it happening to you. You complain about it like it’s the worst thing that anyone can ever think of doing to you. But have you ever realized that, you yourself did it gazillion times to others around you? When it happens to you, you know how terrible it feels. Yet, when it’s your turn, you never hesitate to commit the same mistake, and never feel you’re wrong. Sigh. Why are we humans always like that, never able to see things from an objective point of view? 当局者迷，旁观者清……

Friends

Had a surprise sms today. From Lin. And so coincidentally, I was free today too! Managed to free up 2 hrs for lunch with her. Her hair is so long now.. I think the last time we had a good chat was last may! (exclude the short meetings at conferences lah) And since she was so free today, she decided to (or did I coerce her to?) crash my lecture. Heez.. it’s been so long since we sat together for a lecture. That familiar feeling. I wonder if this lecture was any different from others we had attended together before? But at least, all I know is that I really enjoyed the chats we have before, during, and after lectures. (and that fisherman’s friend! =P) Have missed out so much on her life! Hope she learnt as much as I did through the lecture too. ^_^

And oh, I forgot that the picture that she drew for me years ago is back up on my office wall. (or did I tell her already?)

Came and went

I’ve been so busy that I haven’t been able to jot anything down. My dearest brother, aka Ninja Turtle (my new nickname for him.. ^_^), returned from his confinement ler.. 2.5 weeks of not having him around, and the first sight of him I couldn’t recognize him. Was still wondering who that skinny, bald weirdo was, staring at me with huge eyes and that wide grin?! With him around, we had 2 consecutive days of good food, and 2 consecutive days of joy and laughter. I think all of us will look forward to every weekend now, since it signifies yummy food (that comes along with him, that is. Haha) Oh but the one thing none of us look forward to is that bag that returns with him. Oh manz.. the moment he opened it up, the entire kitchen stank! And that smelly smell diffused so rapidly throughout the house! Gosh.

pics pics for Shanghai Night DnD

Just a few photos.. lazy to upload all lah.. they're all in facebook.. hee~

FeiHong in action
FeiHong with 13-yi


Feihong 'sailormoons' into a female!


13-yi shocked at her feihong being a female


with a custom-made fan


We swap roles.. and i'm supposed to look scared of my feihong
Me chilling out under the stars, by the poolside
The tall oneswyee dajie at the piano.. such a pro..Finally.. a group shot!

Lady Luck with me

Yesterday’s DnD was so much better than last year. Thoroughly enjoyed myself. The food at Hilton Hotel was good too. Loved the baked fish with almonds! The MC this year was so much more entertaining too.. and the games involved everyone in the room, and made us run around til I got hungry again! >.<>th prize.. was mine!!!!!!! Woohoo.. a Panasonic DVD video camera that costs $799!! ^_^ I think amongst the prizes I liked the video camera and the home stereo system the most. Haha.. I think I have the luck for lucky draws. And the prizes just get better. During my sec4 prom I won a tv (but only 14 inch that time >.<).. now a video cam.. next time a CAR! Haha~ I think this year’s DnD was very worth it.

Spent:

$15 ticket for DnD

$21 cheongsam top for the Shanghai theme

$10.80 for the cab home

Received:

$5 sponsorship from chaota

$10 taka voucher from early bird lucky draw

$799 video cam

Net: $767.20 ^_^

For once, I did not take any photos with my camera. I had brought it, but too lazy to take it out, since everyone has a camera. Share share lah… =P

And it worked

I’m in the course! YAY~ It pays to go and beg the prof.. haha.. he doubled the class size and I’m among the 20 pple who went to beg him. I really hope this pays off. Hope we learn a lot from this module, and we can do well too.

Yeah.. doing well is CRUCIAL. I just received results for 1 out of 4 modules I took last semester, and I got a B-. Bah. I better buck up this semester.. coz i need an average of B+ by next semester or I have to pay back everything I’ve taken from the government, and that’s the end of my future. Eeks.

Oh well. It’s a good wake up call. At least I’m only done with half my modules, so I have the other half to score all As to pull up my score. Haha.. I make it sound so easy. =P

trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight!

regular frustration

Every year at this time, I get so upset with the school. Well, it’s not exactly their fault this time round, but once again, for the umpteenth time, I don’t get the module I want. AGAIN. And grad school does not even have bidding for modules! We apply, and we go for the class. But today, in class, the lecturer ‘threw’ us out of class. Coz this module is designed for 12 people, and 62 turned up for class. BAH.

not my fault

I did not forget to go to school today. I did not know there was school today. Module registration starts today, and many professors have replied my email last week saying that school starts next week. However, at 6pm today, after a full day’s work, I finally sat down to check my mail for the day. I got an email sent late this morning, saying “School starts today at 2pm”. Oh, how wonderful. I adore people who give last minute instructions.

day 3

Been so busy these few days. Enjoying the last days of my so called holiday (where I still have work), before my lessons start again. Yeah. Lessons.

It feels weird at home these days too. One missing person. We lack the male species at home now. I don’t know why, but I miss him. I didn’t miss him even when he went overseas for competition! Oh well. My baby bro is a grown up, boy-to-be-man now. It’s like THE event of the month for my family. It started off with mother reminiscing about how my brother used to do this and that when young. Then, it was the packing of the bags that everyone was involved in. On Tuesday, mother cooked a huge meal as a sort of farewell for my brother. Coz he prolly wun get much good food while in there. Wednesday, we all took half day off (thanks fangers for being so accommodating) and sent him to Tekong. I was comforted to see that the living conditions are pretty much chalet-like. The tour-guides kept saying “your son..” this and that. I have no son. But then again, come to think of it, I’ve been his “parent” for the past 6-7 years, attending parent-teacher meetings and other such stuff ever since he was in secondary school. So I am sort of a ‘parent’ too, eh? Haha. It’s really no big deal that someone’s enlisting. Every Singaporean guy has to do it. But.. I dunno. I can’t help thinking and hoping that he’s coping with the training. It’s totally different from 5 years ago when my JC mates went to army! Well, 14 more days til he comes out. I can’t wait to see him without his hair! Hahaha~

He’s the rightful boss

Had a short chat with N and L, the 2 profs involved in academic affairs in the company. It was an opportunity for the students in the company to bring up any issues regarding the policies and stuff, so that they may act as our advocates to A*STAR. Very nice of them to be so genuinely concerned about our welfare and whether we get the best opportunities to do what we want. When the meeting was about to end, the director dropped by to say hi. Due to his terribly busy schedule, he was in the room for probably less than 10 minutes. Yet, in that short span of time, he managed to give us all a lesson on life’s philosophy. It was not any content-less jibberish, not even close. 一针见血 is the best way to describe it. Listening to him was even more inspiring than listening to my boss. No wonder he’s my boss’s boss. He managed to hit right smack on what we were facing. Or I was facing, at least. It was so accurate, it was almost freaky. I couldn’t help when tears welled up in my eyes. I could see that he had a shock, for he was only a metre away from me, but he said nothing. I’m only more convinced that I have made the right choice to join this company, under the management of such wise and kind people. ^_^

…be patient.. it’s never going to be easy… It’s a pentathlon we’re running, not a marathon.. have to be flexible and keep changing strategies..

…aim not for what you want to be, but who you want to be, for you may never become what you want to be, but you can always be who you want to be.. that’s how you will be happy ^_^

the gals I grew up with

Finally, I met up with them. Some of them, at least. Hilda and elly after 2.5 years, Sharon after 1.5 years. They all left to study overseas, and before I know it, everyone’s graduated. Only Hilda’s still not back permanently. Yet. We’re all such busy people, only managed to meet up 1.5 hrs before we had to split. (and met elly’s mama too!! She still remembers me.. aww..) It’s such a nice feeling talking to them. Noone’s changed. Other gal friends grow up, mature, become more feminine, change their life plans. But this bunch of gals never change. That’s why I love them. ^_^ I’ve only known Hilda and Sharon for 10 yrs.. but I’ve known elly for 14 years! She still remembers the days we did projects together, making MRT trains, swimming, and my brother (only 4 years old then) shooting rubber bands at her! Haha.. that’s how her memories of my brother remain as—naughty little boy. She’d be surprised if she sees how tall my bro is now! It wonders me to realize how much each of us have been affected by one another.. sharing some life changing moments together. Our first criticisms, our growing out of naivety, our discovery of who the real Father is. I can never be more grateful to have known them all. Since they’re mostly back in Singapore, I should meet up with them more often! Too wonderful people to have missed out on the past 4-5 years of their lives. Thus I shall add on to my new year resolutions—to meet up with 401 gals more often! ^_^

watch me and remind me!

New Year Resolutions 2007 (not typo.. this is last yr’s)

1. To dedicate my heart and my soul into completing my honors year project. 2007 will be a better year. I cannot waste tax-payers’ money anymore.
2. To pick up a few more skills before I graduate. I will make my life as fulfilling as can be. ^_^
3. Further improve on speaking my mind. Maybe I should learn to care less, think less, and just speak without thinking. Ok.. maybe that’s exaggerating.. but seriously, sometimes I think too much. I should be a little bit more impulsive.
4. To grow spiritually. I need to equip myself with better knowledge of the Word.
5. Time to move on. I experience, I fall, I learn, I pick up myself.. now it’s time to let go and move on. The prayer 4 years ago has been answered (and still being answered). Answered to an extent I myself never expected. All that I have gone through thus far has helped me grow as a person, but at the same time, I cannot let it hold me down. In 2007, I shall leave behind all the negative memories since 2003 and move on only with the lessons learnt.

Did I do it?

1. I can say I really put my heart and soul, my flesh and blood into my final year project. ^_^
2. Skills..err.. I failed in beatboxing. I didn’t learn malay nor Korean, but I did pick up a few lines of French (took an entire course, but skipped most lessons. Haha) But I am in the midst of picking up an interesting skill.. marble sculpturing! ^_^
3. I do speak my mind. The school admin can vouch for that. But being impulsive in all situations.. not there yet.
4. There’s always room for spiritual growth. I personally think there wasn’t much growth this year. No new courses that I attended. NUS BS didn’t work out too well. CG was focused more on fellowship and bonding.
5. Moving on I managed to. In a way. But things can be better. Being sentimental is not my choice.

New Year Resolutions 2008

1. To grow spiritually
2. To serve well in the new ministries I am committing myself to. (CG and Sunday School)
3. To maintain the enthusiasm in the lab, and not to slack. Hope to clinch an opportunity to go for a conference overseas, based on my own works.
4. To improve my health.. coz it’s been going down. I don’t want to die yet! >.< (Thank God for a fellow friend who wants to be more sporty this year too! =P)
5. To spend quality time with friends and family, and not let anything happen due to my negligence.