Tears that came too late

Fangers asked me if I cried during the show. Coz apparently bong did. Then I remembered I did. But not because I was touched by the show, but simply because the issue brought up in the show, reminded me of some other things. The issue of daring to pursue dreams, daring to try their best to overcome all obstacles just to live their dream.

It was all indeed reflective of my life. This musical is about pursuing dreams. But I, being a cowardly girl, dare only to pursue dreams that are stereotyped in this society. My scientist dreams, I pursue. But other than that, I didn’t dare to pursue love that is totally outside of this world. I wish I could defy everything and live for myself, like that in the movies. Maybe if I weren’t brought up in an oriental society, I might give up everything just for my dreams. But that’s how life is. This is my life. This I how I have been taught to live it. I also didn’t bother to continue a lot of my classes. I really regret not dancing, not drawing, not playing the piano more last time. Then maybe I could be doing fun things like performing in musicals like this too. I miss performing on stage. Too late. Everything’s too late now. I have only 1 dream left to pursue. This is all I have left now. The lab is my life.

Of course, I didn’t think so much during the show. I guess it was just the sudden flashback of a memory this morning, plus the uncanny resemblance of george (lips, eyes, jawline, skin color, muscle lines..) that pieced everything together, and I wished I had dared to pursue that one dream. It’s a regret, but I know that even now, if I were given the chance to make the choice again, I would still not dare to do it. Just that, instead of running away immediately, I would face it and reject it. I hate it when people leave without giving an answer. I felt so bad for doing so.. but I wasn’t given a second chance to give a reply..