if i hadn't tried so hard, i'd be fine

and i only have myself to blame. why didn't i think of ignoring them and going ahead with it? i've learnt. it doesn't pay to listen to others, no matter how much more experience they have. and i just wasn't sharp enough to see the loopholes. haiz. so much work gone down the drain. if i had been more strong-headed, i would have done it. if i had been a slacker, it wouldn't have hurt so much. if i hadn't truly loved what i'm doing, it wouldn't matter so much. if only my 'if's could could come true.