The all important me, in the case of FIRE =P

God's Gift

I've always been told that getting a phD is no easy feat. and everyone says that first yr is a time to have fun, 2nd yr a breeze, 3rd yr a rush to get results and the final yr an exhausting one. It was indeed a very easy first 2 years that i had, and everything went rather smoothly, with just a few slow moving months. I knew that life would get tougher, but i really didn't expect the jump to be so tremendous. Expectations grew all of a sudden, and the stress escalated unthinkably. Many times i felt so helpless, so useless, so tempted to give up. But the Lord knew my limits, and placed so many people around me to encourage me and to pray for me. The most amazing gift of all was someone who really could understand every thing that i was going through. comfort and encouragement came my way everyday. good advices were frequent. and a shoulder always there for me to cry on when everything just seems so bleak. It's only been a couple of months into my 3rd year of phD, but i can feel the tremendous amount of pressure that hits my limits so very often. i know i wouldn't have been able to face all these alone, and i am thankful to God for knowing and thus placing someone by my side to watch me and support me all day and all week. Thank you Lord :)

Motion-less

Life has been too sedentary lately. the last physical activity i had was probably diving trip in april. That's like half a year ago!! >.< the whole group is going parasailing.. but i can't! quite sad. haiz. so near yet so far. what luck. hope we don't have to wait too long before the next chance to have such fun!! ^_^ (long weekend in nov? =P)

if i hadn't tried so hard, i'd be fine

and i only have myself to blame. why didn't i think of ignoring them and going ahead with it? i've learnt. it doesn't pay to listen to others, no matter how much more experience they have. and i just wasn't sharp enough to see the loopholes. haiz. so much work gone down the drain. if i had been more strong-headed, i would have done it. if i had been a slacker, it wouldn't have hurt so much. if i hadn't truly loved what i'm doing, it wouldn't matter so much. if only my 'if's could could come true.

i must learn to love insects from now on..

Never really liked insects. No affinity between us. In fact, sometimes they make me jump and run. BUT, for once, i am starting to like them. And i truly hope it develops into a very deep love for them. *shudders* Spodoptera frugiperda, is the insect i am talking about. my phD now depends so heavily on them, i really hope they work well for me! I wanted to put the picture here. but, when i googled for it, my goosebumps wouldn't go away!! i cannot bear to put them up on my blog. OK, if they really succeed, I WILL PUT THE PICTURE. hmm, then let's hope i can put those pictures up. haha. They may be my last hope in this... PLEASE. I WILL LEARN TO LOVE INSECTS IF YOU JUST MAKE IT WORK!!! >.<